What is an Intended Parent Profile?
You’ve decided to move forward with surrogacy. Maybe you’ve even contacted a surrogacy agency. Your excitement is through the roof, and you’re eager to get started selecting a surrogate. However, the process takes a little time and a few steps before you can begin browsing surrogate profiles. One of the early steps that you’ll need to complete is creating an intended parent profile.
What is an intended parent profile?
An intended parent profile is a document given to surrogates with text and pictures used to introduce your family, your home and your surrogacy goals. Because it is the first time a surrogate will “meet” you (even though it’s not in person), you need to take the time to make sure that your intended parent profile makes a good first impression on potential surrogates. As the saying goes, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
As an intended parent, the surrogate will review your profile first. Once she indicates her interest in matching with you, the Agency will send you her profile to review to consider. If you both agree there is interest, a phone call can be scheduled so that you can get to know each other better and agree to match. Once everyone agrees, you are “matched,” the surrogacy process continues on. You’ll be given the chance to get to know each other better and communicate about a potential surrogacy agreement. There will be medical exams and legal documents to complete, but you’ll be on your way to creating a family.
What goes into an intended parent profile?
At its most basic level, your intended parent profile is an introduction to you and your family, so it should be the best representation of you and your life that you can make on paper. Generally, you will want to include the following information:
– Facts about you and your family
– Details on where you live plus your hobbies and interests
– A letter to potential surrogates with information about why you’re interesting in pursuing surrogacy
– Photos of you, your family and your home
One approach to completing the profile is to ask yourself the questions, “What makes you and your family unique?” and, “Why should a surrogate choose you?” Consider your answers and craft a thoughtful profile with these ideas in mind.
If you are using a surrogacy agency, they may provide you with help or guidance in creating your intended parent profile. They might provide a checklist or suggestions of information to include and may help you edit your profile. It’s important to remember to take their advice and suggestions but put your own personality into the content. The goal is to stand out and reflect who you really are, while also keeping in mind to have realistic expectations.
Tips for creating your profile
In a field of intended parents who all deserve a chance to have a family, find a way to be unique and memorable. Try to avoid giving one word answer to questions, even if it’s hard to express yourself. You want the surrogate reading your profile to have a complete understanding of you, your family and the life your child will have. Your Agency can provide guidelines to help make your profile stand out as well.
Find ways to spark a connection.
Even though your first introduction to your surrogate is on paper, you will want her to find a personal connection to you and your family. Include as many details about yourself as you are comfortable sharing, and don’t be afraid of getting “too personal.”
Tell your story.
This is very closely related to the two tips above. In your profile, explain the journey that has led you to seek a surrogate. This is another way for a potential surrogate to connect emotionally with you.
Take your time.
It is tempting to keep the process moving as fast as possible and to want to rush through creating your intended parent profile. However, this is a very important step in the process of getting matched with a surrogate so you will want to take your time and make sure your profile is complete and correct. Think carefully about each aspect of the profile; don’t simply fill it out and send it in like it’s a medical history form.
Edit your profile carefully.
Read and reread every part of your profile, and be sure to use spell check. If you’re comfortable, let your friends and family read your profile and seek constructive criticism. Ask them if it accurately portrays your family and the message you are trying to get across.
Use your best photos.
Pick photos that are of good quality and accurately display you, your family and your home. However, this isn’t to say that you need to use professional photos! In fact, some of the best photos are candid shots that give a surrogate the sense of joy that exists in your life. Don’t forget to add captions that describe the people, places and occasions in the photos.
We’ve talked a lot about trying to put the best foot forward in your profile, but the most important thing you can do is be yourself. If you are matched and move forward with a surrogate, you want your surrogate to feel that your profile accurately and honestly matches who you really are. Don’t misrepresent yourself just to get a surrogate’s attention.
This is an opportunity to express yourself. Use your intended parent profile as a means to communicate your excitement about starting a family, your gratitude to the surrogate and your overall personality. There will be plenty of mundane tasks in the surrogacy process, but this is one that should actually be fun to do!
Just as you want to choose the surrogate that is right for your family, a surrogate wants to choose the right parents for the baby she carries. This mutual agreement and respect between the intended parents and surrogate is the foundation for creating life and families. Creating your intended parent profile is one of the first steps to finding a surrogate. At Simple Surrogacy, we are so honored to be part of the process, and we look forward to helping facilitate more connections between intended parents and surrogates.