What Happens When My Surrogate Baby is Born?
Whether you’ve just started your surrogacy journey or are nearing your newborn’s arrival, you will find yourself wondering just what you should expect when your child is born. Every expectant parent has questions and concerns when it comes to what they need to be prepared for. However, as each surrogacy is different, this can be a difficult question to answer in a way that will be completely relevant to all intended parents.
Despite this, one of the most integral aspects of surrogacy is all of the planning that goes into it. You and your surrogate have the opportunity to plan for the delivery day and make it a phenomenal experience. You should also anticipate support from your agency, every step of the way. Here some important details to address when it comes to what you should expect on and after the birth of your child.
Your Birth Plan
Preparing for the birth of your child isn’t as simple as buying furniture and reading a few books. Expectant parents should also have a birth plan drawn up. Your birth plan should detail and address important details regarding the birth of your child. You’ll want to discuss this plan with your surrogate early on to ensure that you are both on the same page. Simple Surrogacy provides a birth Plan outline for each party in a surrogacy, and will help you to discuss this plan with each other. Some things to consider:
- Who will be in the delivery room when your surrogate gives birth?
- Immediately following the baby’s birth, who will be the first to hold the child?
- Who will handle the baby’s first feeding?
- Will you and your family share a hospital room with your surrogate?
Knowing the answer to these questions and making sure that all parties involved are comfortable, will set your mind at ease and remove any ambiguities. A sound birth plan is the key to making sure that everyone is respected and heard through the surrogacy.
Intended parents should speak with their employers about maternity and paternity leave as you will need the time off to bond with your baby. If you need to travel in order to attend the birth of your child, taking time off a week or so before your child’s due date is a good idea.
What to expect during the birth of your child?
If you and your surrogate have agreed that you will be present in the room as she gives birth, you should be prepared. Hospitals are a busy place, it is easy to be overwhelmed by the dozens of things going on all at once. However, you should focus on being present and not getting swept up in all of the commotion.
You may even be asked to get actively involved. You may be asked to provide support via hand-holding or even holding a cool cloth over your surrogate’s forehead. Each birth is different, so expect the unexpected! If you are with a partner, make sure that you are checking in with each other throughout the birth. Even short glances or smile will help to provide reassurance.
If you are not in the room when your child is born, that is perfectly fine. You will have plenty of time to bond with your baby, soon. Take the time that you have to collect yourself and reflect with your partner or family. You’re going to be a parent, maybe even for the first time. Take time to be grateful and prepare yourself to meet your newest family member.
What to expect after the birth of your child?
Now comes the beautiful moment that you get to meet your child. You will get to hold your new baby and even feel their little heartbeat. It will be a moment that was truly worth the wait. However, your surrogacy journey doesn’t end at this moment.
Most Intended Parents are able to have a room of their own with the baby, while the surrogate will have a separate room, if the hospital or birth center has space. Whichever option that you and your surrogate choose, now is the time to bond and build a relationship with your baby. Feedings, diaper changes, and holding your child for the first time is a great way to do so. Be sure to visit with your Surrogate and allow her time with your baby. After all, she carried this wonderful new being for 9 whole months, and she wants to meet them and enjoy seeing you with the baby! Involve her in the immediate time after the delivery and allow her to witness the family she helped to create.
The Relationship with Your Surrogate After the Birth of Your Child
While “push presents” are not in any way mandatory, many intended parents feel that they are a great way to express their thanks to their surrogate. These gifts can come in any form, although you may also consider adding a personal touch such as a framed picture.
It is up to you and your surrogate to determine whether or not you want to remain in contact after the birth of your child. You will need to figure out what works best for both of you. It is completely normal for families to stay in touch with their surrogate and even provide pictures and updates on the child.
If you do not maintain a relationship with your surrogate after the birth of your child, don’t worry, this is also completely normal. Though you may not remain in contact, you will always be connected through the amazing experience of surrogacy that you shared.
Now that you have a clear idea of some of the important aspects of surrogacy that you should anticipate before and after delivery day, you should work to make sure that each detail is addressed. Pregnancy and birth are very emotional and complex experiences. It is imperative to ensure that all parties involved in the surrogacy are able to openly and honestly communicate their feelings throughout the process.
If you are considering or in the midst of a surrogacy, then now is the time to outline some things of the questions and concerns that are important to you. Your voice in the journey matters. With Simple Surrogacy, you will have help and support every step of the way. It’s important to us that you are heard. Reach out to us with any questions regarding the surrogacy process, we are here for you 24/7!