Can I Become A Surrogate If I Haven’t Had Children of my Own?
Becoming a surrogate mother is a big commitment. Most fertility clinics and surrogacy agencies in the U.S. refuse to work with a first-time mother. Many women want to help others achieve their dreams of starting a family, even if it means that they do not meet this requirement, as they have not given birth before. Although making the decision to become a surrogate is very selfless, these women must understand the reasoning behind the importance of this particular requirement.
At Simple Surrogacy, we do not recommend pursuing surrogacy without first having children of your own. Here are a few reasons as to why women who have not conceived children of their own are denied the opportunity to become surrogates:
1) No Proof of Fertility
To be qualified as a surrogate, there needs to be proof on record of fertility. Without the experience of giving birth to children of your own, you have very limited knowledge of your own fertility and your ability to bear a child. Unless you have gone through a full term pregnancy prior to surrogacy, there is no way to determine if you are capable of successfully delivering a child yourself. With no history as a mother, you cannot anticipate how easy or difficult it can be for you to have a child. Intended parents invest a lot of time and money into the surrogacy process, so removing as many risk factors as possible is definitely on their mind. There would be an incredible heartbreak to discover that their carefully chosen surrogate mother may suffer infertility issues as well.
2) Chances of Having Children of Your Own
Although uncommon, some women may experience complications after surrogacy, which can affect their entire reproductive system, preventing their ability to have another child in the future. Becoming a surrogate mother is an altruistic deed. However, in attempts to help another couple start a family of their own, you may also unintentionally deny yourself the dream of ever achieving parenthood.
3) Emotional Attachment
Each woman experiences pregnancy differently. If you have never given birth to a child of your own, it is difficult to predict how you will feel when the baby is born. The possibility that you may become attached and decide to keep the baby is a common fear that many intended parents have. Especially during your first pregnancy, the chances of developing an attachment to the child are quite likely. The reason why we require our surrogates to have had children of their own is to prevent this from occurring and to prevent the stress that can be caused by years of child custody and legal battles. If you have conceived children of your own and have kids to look forward to coming home to, it is less likely that you will develop an emotional attachment and decide to keep the baby.
While many individuals dream of the day that they can finally become parents and start a family, not all are blessed with the opportunity to be able to conceive a child on their own. Keep in mind surrogacy can become very costly. That’s why at Simple Surrogacy we ensure that you are a right fit as a surrogate mother, before signing a formal agreement.
As a surrogacy agency, we encourage prospective surrogates to read this full list of requirements to see if they are qualified and can be an appropriate fit as a surrogate mother for intended parents.
At Simple Surrogacy, we require that all of our candidates must have:
- Given birth to a child of their own
- Experienced uncomplicated pregnancies and deliveries
- Had a full-term pregnancy and delivery
These guidelines are put in place to ensure that surrogates know what they are getting themselves into and to ensure that they know what the process and commitment entail.
Overall, it is good to have a track record of a full-term pregnancy and a delivery that is free from complications in order to give prospective parents assurance and peace of mind. Just like you are skeptical of getting into the car with someone who has never driven before, intended parents are often hesitant of trusting someone who has never experienced childbirth to bear their child. You will not know what your pregnancy experience will be like as a surrogate until you have experienced pregnancy for yourself. Surrogacy agencies typically want women who have experienced all that pregnancy, labor and delivery entail before fully committing to the process.
We understand that becoming a surrogate is not an easy decision. However, having given birth to a child of your own puts less liability and risk for the fertility clinic, surrogacy agency and intended parents.
About Simple Surrogacy
At Simple Surrogacy, we have helped many couples achieve their dreams of parenthood through our surrogacy program. We know it is not an easy decision to embark on the path of surrogacy. However, it takes a very special woman to become a surrogate. Pregnancy is a unique journey for intended parents but also for you as a surrogate. Making the decision to offer others in need the opportunity to raise a child from birth takes a lot of sacrifice. While it is indeed a selfless decision, you should first think about completing a family of your own before exploring the option of surrogacy.
Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate
If you are thinking about becoming a surrogate and meet the full list of qualifications, be sure to visit our website https://www.simplesurrogacy.com/contact-us/ or contact us at 1-866-41-SURRO and ask to speak to our Executive Program Director, Stephanie Scott. We will be happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have and we look forward to hearing from you in the near future!